The children


The children of divorced parents,or separated parents, or death of parent.

The children mostly effected by these events are those who haven`t been taught about Almighty GOD.

INTRODUCTION

A serious problem in the world today is that of divorce and remarriage...

Its affect on children has been well documented by Judith Wallerstein, author of Second Chance (Ticknor & Fields, 1988)

Almost half of children of divorces enter adulthood as worried, underachieving, self-deprecating, and sometimes angry young men and women

Half grew up in settings in which the parents were warring with each other even after the divorce -- Reported in Time, 2/6/89

Parents who divorce are not left unhurt either

"A divorce is like an amputation: You survive, but there's less of you." - Margaret Atwood (Marriage Partnership, Vol.7, No.4)

Average percentage change in a woman's standard of living the year following a divorce: minus 73% - Daniel Evan Weiss, (The Great Divide, Poseidon Press, 1991)

As described by God, divorce is a treacherous, violent act - Mal 2:16

Remarriage after divorce is not without it problems also...

It does not always heal the wounds inflicted by the divorce: "I'm lucky my parents have stayed together. Unlike so many of my friends, I've never had to cry on a holiday." - Tales Out of High School, Marriage Partnership, Vol. 5, no. 6

Many remarriages are unlawful in God's eyes, constituting what Jesus called "adultery"

While social and psychological effects of divorce and remarriage are serious, it is the spiritual effects that are most concerning.

Too many people are ignorant of what the Bible teaches on this subject

Such ignorance leads to quick and easy divorces, and to adulterous marriages that are unlawful

In Mk 10:1-12, we find Jesus discussing divorce and remarriage...

Jesus had left Capernaum as he was teaching by the Jordan river in the region of Judea

His teaching on divorce and remarriage was occasioned by a challenge from the Pharisees

He used the opportunity to teach His disciples what people today need to know!

[As we consider this passage carefully, we first read how...]

THE PHARISEES' QUESTION JESUS (2)

TO TEST HIM, NOT TO BE TAUGHT BY HIM...

Divorce was a touchy issue then, even as it is today

Divorce was not uncommon; e.g., King Herod - Mk 6:17-18

The scribes were divided over the proper grounds for divorce

The school of Hillel taught that a man could divorce for just about any reason

The school of Shammai permitted divorce only in the case of fornication

ANY ANSWER JESUS GAVE WOULD OFFEND SOMEONE...

If He took the popular lax view, the Pharisees could deride His claim as a teacher of superior morality - Mt 5:20

If He upheld the stricter view, He would be unpopular with the majority (which the Pharisees could use against Him)

[Of course, Jesus was not concerned with what man thought, but in pleasing His Father in heaven. This becomes evident as we next consider...]

JESUS' RESPONSE TO THE PHARISEES (3-9)

Mar 10:3  And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? 

Mar 10:4  And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. 

Mar 10:5  And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. 

Mar 10:6  But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. 

Mar 10:7  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 

Mar 10:8  And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 

Mar 10:9  What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 

HE ASKED WHAT MOSES TAUGHT...

"What did Moses command you?" - Mk 10:3

"Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her" - Mk 10:4

They understood Moses to permit divorce if a "certificate of divorce" was given to the wife - Deut 24:1-4;

Deu 24:1  When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. 

Deu 24:2  And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife. 

Deu 24:3  And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; 

Deu 24:4  Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance. 

Mt 5:31

Mat 5:31  It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 

Yet a careful reading of that passage reveals:

Moses forbid remarrying of a spouse, even if her second husband had died - Deut 24:4

The reason was the woman became "defiled" when she remarried - Deut 24:4

The word "defiled" used elsewhere to describe adultery - Lev 18:20

Lev 18:20  Moreover thou shalt not lie carnally with thy neighbour's wife, to defile thyself with her.  Num 5:13-14

Num 5:13  And a man lie with her carnally, and it be hid from the eyes of her husband, and be kept close, and she be defiled, and there be no witness against her, neither she be taken with the manner; 

Num 5:14  And the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be defiled: or if the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be not defiled: 

She actually became an adulteress by remarriage (despite the certificate!) - Ro 7:1-3

Rom 7:1  Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? 

Rom 7:2  For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. 

Rom 7:3  So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man. 

While they appealed to this passage in divorce (and presumably, remarriage), it actually described the treachery of divorce:defilement of the spouse - Mt 5:32

Mat 5:32  But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. 

MOSES PERMITTED DIVORCE DUE TO THEIR HARD HEARTS...

"Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept" - Mk 10:5

The Jews at that time were a hardened people - Deut 9:6; 31:27

Deu 9:6  Understand therefore, that the LORD thy God giveth thee not this good land to possess it for thy righteousness; for thou art a stiffnecked people. Deu 31:27  For I know thy rebellion, and thy stiff neck: behold, while I am yet alive with you this day, ye have been rebellious against the LORD; and how much more after my death? 

Is this not a commentary on the state of one's heart when they desire to divorce?

It takes a hardhearted person to want to divorce their spouse

Either to divorce arbitrarily (for no scriptural grounds)

Or to divorce when the guilty person is pleading for forgiveness and reconciliation

Of course, that is exactly the condition of those in the world (or those in the church who are of the world) - Ep 4:17-19

Eph 4:17  This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind, 

Eph 4:18  Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart: 

Eph 4:19  Who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness. 

IT WAS NOT WHAT GOD HAD IN MIND FROM THE BEGINNING...

The permission to divorce was only temporary - Mt 19:8

Mat 19:8  He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 

"From the beginning it was not so" - note carefully:

The Law of Moses (which was temporary) considered the hardness of men's hearts, and permitted hardhearted actions

The gospel of Christ (which replaces the Law) cures the hardness of one's heart!

His grace removes the heart of stone, and replaces it with a heart of love!

I.e., a heart able to abide by God's original design for marriage

Paul made it clear that under normal conditions divorce is not an option - 1Co 7:10-11

1Co 7:10  And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 

1Co 7:11  But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 

JESUS REMINDED THEM OF THEIR GENESIS...

"But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female'" - Mk 10:6

It is helpful to keep in mind: Where we came from, who created us, what we are

For our views on divorce and remarriage will be influenced by our views of ourselves!

Are we simply animals, compelled by instinct?

Unable to control fleshly desires?

Then divorce and remarriage ought to be free and easy

Or God's highest creation, made in His image?

Able to control fleshly lusts to the glory of God?

Then divorce and remarriage ought to reflect God's desire for man's holiness!

HE ATTRIBUTED THE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE TO GOD, NOT MAN...

Notice, it was GOD who said "For this reason..." - Mk 10:7; Gen 2:24

Mar 10:7  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 

Mar 10:8  And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 

Mar 10:9  What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 

Gen 2:24  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 

Therefore questions about marriage (such as divorce and remarriage) must be answered by God, not by man (nor by man's laws)!

HE EMPHASIZED THAT IN MARRIAGE GOD CREATES A UNION...

The two become one flesh - Mk 10:8; Gen 2:24

They are joined by none other than God Himself!

HIS CONCLUSION: LET NOT MAN SEPARATE WHAT GOD JOINED...

What GOD has joined together, let not MAN separate - Mt 19:6

Mat 19:6  Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 

Man has no right to separate what God Himself has joined

It is clear that God's intention is that marriage is to be for life

[According to Mark's gospel, the disciples later asked Jesus privately more about this subject (Mk 10:10).

Mar 10:10  And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter.  And so we now read...]

JESUS' TEACHING TO HIS DISCIPLES (10-12)

DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE LEADS TO ADULTERY...

Whether the man divorces the wife or vice versa - Mk 10:11-12

Mar 10:11  And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. 

Mar 10:12  And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. 

Jesus taught the same consequence of divorce and remarriage in Mt 5:31-32

Mat 5:31  It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 

Mat 5:32  But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. 

The one exception: if spouse is put away for fornication - Mt 19:9

Mat 19:9  And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. 

THE DISCIPLES' REACTION...

They thought it better not to marry - Mt 19:10

Mat 19:10  His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. 

Jesus described celibacy as a viable option if necessary - Mt 19:11-12

Mat 19:11  But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. 

Mat 19:12  For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it. 

CONCLUSION

Any divorce must be on the grounds specified by Jesus...

For marriage is an institution ordained by God - Mk 10:7-8

Mar 10:7  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 

Mar 10:8  And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 

And man must not separate what God has joined together - Mk 10:9

Mar 10:9  What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 

The only ground specified by Jesus is fornication - Mt 19:9

Mat 19:9  And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. 

A divorce for any other reason...

Is an attempt to separate what God has joined together - Mk 10:9

Mar 10:9  What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 

Is forbidden by the Lord - 1Co 7:10-11

1Co 7:10  And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 

1Co 7:11  But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 

If a couple divorces, they should remain unmarried or be reconciled - 1Co 7:11

For it will result in adultery if there is a remarriage - Mk 10:11-12

Mar 10:11  And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. 

Mar 10:12  And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. 


May the Lord bless those with the faith to live according to His word, and may we be diligent in teaching our children what the Bible teaches regarding divorce and remarriage...!‚Äč  And life in general, GOD has given all things that pertain to life , and Godlyness.